So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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