Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
