Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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