i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
