remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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