my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
