I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
