yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
