the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
