I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
