i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
