woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize