Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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