The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
