false alarm. still invincible.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
