very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize