i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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