Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
