you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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