I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
