But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
