Soap is not a condiment
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
