Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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