I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
