sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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