i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
