My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
