That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
