we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
false alarm, still single
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
