somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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