How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
