a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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