Sponge bath it is.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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