I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
