Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
