I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
