is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
