hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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