Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
