you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
