just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
