We're facebook friends in real life
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize