I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
