I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
