It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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