Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
