dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
