Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
