We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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