made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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