Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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